apparently, the decimal point only matters to me . . .

[me]: so when I did this calculation, i got X, but on your solutions spreadsheet, you got Y. is that because I did it by hand and you used Excel formulas to calculate the answer?

* side note: as a professor, why the bloody hell would you use Excel to show how you got the answers (dude, I can calculate all this crap in Excel TOO) when you intend to make me do it by hand on the exam? shouldn't you show HOW you got your answers? isn't that a little like telling a fifth grader that x = 5, and when he asks why, replying with 'Pure f-ing magic. Now take this test.'?? *

[accounting professor]: umm, well, without seeing ALL of your calculations, i can't really be sure. maybe it's a rounding error.

Umm, YOUR rounding error or MY rounding error? And do you really need to see all my calculations, or do you think you could use your brain JUST A LITTLE and figure it out?

And on that note, herein lies the difference between the classroom and the real world. While this dude clearly knows the accounting book forward and back, and I (clearly) do not, I am apparently the only one in this conversation who realizes that, in reality, when you have millions of dollars on the books, a $20,000 discrepancy is still A REALLY BIG DEAL. Perhaps when I was auditing, and I found a significant difference on the books, I should have told my bosses that without seeing all the calculations, I couldn't really be sure why there was a difference, but maybe it was a ROUNDING ERROR. And now I'd like to go home because my work here is done.

Of course, this is the same professor, when I told him that I wasn't thrilled with my grade on the midterm and thus in the class and asked what I could do about it, told me to STUDY HARDER FOR THE FINAL.

Asshole.

in Competitive Strategy class

discussing a case everyone should have read before class.

[prof] - how does the case show that this was an advantage for the company?

[student] - well, they were able to get a lot of their product into the marketplace.

[prof] - do we have any numbers from the case on how much?

[student] - probably.

in Excel class

Yes, I'm taking an Excel class. I can build financial models now. Be afraid.

Last actual class. One student raises his hand.

[prof] - hey, this is the first time you've ever spoken in class!

10 minutes later, same kid raises his hand.

[prof] - two in a row!!

[student] - i'm going for a hat trick.

In high school, they call it prom . . .

When you are a 'grown-up,' they call it a formal. Yet all the same rules apply:

1) all the girls ask each other if they're wearing a long or short dress

2) the guys don't think about attire until the day of

3) you realize that there are lots of new couples of which you were previously unaware

4) most importantly - someone always falls down while trying to 'get low' (though this one is admittedly MUCH funnier when said someone is 30-something and toasted)

Fortunately, Jonathan and I understand a lot about gravity, and managed to hit the floor only figuratively.