apparently, the decimal point only matters to me . . .

[me]: so when I did this calculation, i got X, but on your solutions spreadsheet, you got Y. is that because I did it by hand and you used Excel formulas to calculate the answer?

* side note: as a professor, why the bloody hell would you use Excel to show how you got the answers (dude, I can calculate all this crap in Excel TOO) when you intend to make me do it by hand on the exam? shouldn't you show HOW you got your answers? isn't that a little like telling a fifth grader that x = 5, and when he asks why, replying with 'Pure f-ing magic. Now take this test.'?? *

[accounting professor]: umm, well, without seeing ALL of your calculations, i can't really be sure. maybe it's a rounding error.

Umm, YOUR rounding error or MY rounding error? And do you really need to see all my calculations, or do you think you could use your brain JUST A LITTLE and figure it out?

And on that note, herein lies the difference between the classroom and the real world. While this dude clearly knows the accounting book forward and back, and I (clearly) do not, I am apparently the only one in this conversation who realizes that, in reality, when you have millions of dollars on the books, a $20,000 discrepancy is still A REALLY BIG DEAL. Perhaps when I was auditing, and I found a significant difference on the books, I should have told my bosses that without seeing all the calculations, I couldn't really be sure why there was a difference, but maybe it was a ROUNDING ERROR. And now I'd like to go home because my work here is done.

Of course, this is the same professor, when I told him that I wasn't thrilled with my grade on the midterm and thus in the class and asked what I could do about it, told me to STUDY HARDER FOR THE FINAL.

Asshole.

in Competitive Strategy class

discussing a case everyone should have read before class.

[prof] - how does the case show that this was an advantage for the company?

[student] - well, they were able to get a lot of their product into the marketplace.

[prof] - do we have any numbers from the case on how much?

[student] - probably.

in Excel class

Yes, I'm taking an Excel class. I can build financial models now. Be afraid.

Last actual class. One student raises his hand.

[prof] - hey, this is the first time you've ever spoken in class!

10 minutes later, same kid raises his hand.

[prof] - two in a row!!

[student] - i'm going for a hat trick.

In high school, they call it prom . . .

When you are a 'grown-up,' they call it a formal. Yet all the same rules apply:

1) all the girls ask each other if they're wearing a long or short dress

2) the guys don't think about attire until the day of

3) you realize that there are lots of new couples of which you were previously unaware

4) most importantly - someone always falls down while trying to 'get low' (though this one is admittedly MUCH funnier when said someone is 30-something and toasted)

Fortunately, Jonathan and I understand a lot about gravity, and managed to hit the floor only figuratively.

What it's like to be in class with me

ACCOUNTING PROFESSOR: So how was the midterm?

[Various shouts of 'LONG' echo around the classroom]

ACCOUNTING PROFESSOR: Ok, so it was long. Did you think it was too hard?

ROSE: How would we know if we couldn't get to all the problems??

Winterscape

Our patio, covered in snow. You can barely see the kitty yard stake - he's covered in snow!

And this is us at the Lincon Park Zoo - they do Christmas lights all over the zoo, and it's really beautiful. It's also free. So cold the polar bears won't even come outside, but free.

City Living in the Winter, Take 1

Ok, so it snowed. And snowed and snowed and snowed and snowed. And that much snow had to go somewhere, so it definitely stuck this time.

This snow taught us a few truths about living in the city during winter.

Truth #1: Like air, food and water-proof winter boots, garage parking is an essential. It doesn't matter what premium they tack on to your rent or mortgage - suck it up and pay it. Totally WORTH EVERY PENNY to not have to dig the Mini out of the 15-foot snowbank.

Now you're saying "hey, I saw the weather - you didn't get 15 feet of snow!" True, but here's truth #2: snowplows. Yes they are awesome. Yes you only want to drive after they've cleared the road for you. But here's something you don't realize until you see it in person - where does all that snow go? Answer: on the side of the road. Creating 15-foot snowbanks. And if you don't have garage parking, guess where you park your car?

We love the Mini, we really do. Even last night, I yet again managed to parallel park into the world's tiniest space. As Jonathan claimed I couldn't possibly fit, I laughed evilly and showed him that the all-powerful Mini can fit ANYWHERE. But we have learned that the Mini is not so good when it comes to the 15-foot snowbanks, even when the spot is, say, the size of our entire block.

Which brings us to truth #3: our neighbor owns a Mini and a Land Rover. This man is a GENIUS. Jonathan has decided that we should open our own dealership for the city with a new kind of lease: a Mini or SmartCar for the summer, and a Hummer for the winter. Best plan ever.